15 Jan 2012 Dream of a Woman

[Just a rambling note about a dream last night.]

I just woke from a dream. I was in some mountains, or perhaps low-lying hills scrambling about them. I had gone to see a girl who was sitting on the mountainside talking to some people. When her conversation was over, I went up to her. The hills were kind of steep and it seemed that I was crawling around on them. I can’t say that they were dirt, but they didn’t seem to be grass covered either. I talked to her for a while, nothing important, and she asked me why I’d come to se see her. I rather sheepishly told her that I wanted to kiss her, that I just needed a kiss. So she let me kiss her. She thought this was somehow strange, and I told her that it always seemed that when I was in trouble, I came to her. I was on the verge of telling her that I loved her, but I didn’t. We talked some more about life. She was either going to college or had some other big project she was working on. I was on the verge of asking her to marry me, but I realized the impact that would have on her life, and that she’d probably have to give up her project. So I didn’t say anything, but she could sense something, and she asked me if I was willing to take big chances with my life. It was just that whenever I was in trouble, I always ended up going to see her without really knowing why. That’s how the dream ended. I’m sure I had dreamed more on the frontend, but that’s what I came away with.

Yesterday I developed a problem with my right eye. I had a rather large new floater that dramatically showed up, along with a few dark specks. It was large in area and had a rather spider web appearance. I went into a dark room, closed my eyes, and noticed that when I moved my eyes from side to side, a bright line flashed along the top of my vision and all along the right side. I was rather certain that I had a detached retina, so I called the VA clinic where I get my healthcare, and talked to a nurse. After listening to my symptoms, she told me that it probably was not a detached retina but that I should see a doctor as soon as possible, and definitely within the next eight hours. So I called my son, who was out sketching somewhere around Healdsburg for a book he’s writing on wine and cuisine in Sonoma County, and he dropped what he was doing and drove me to the VA clinic in San Francisco for an emergency eye examination. (Really great doctor.) While in the waiting room we got the news that the 49ers had just won their playoff game against the New Orleans Saints. Turns out, the nurse was correct. I didn’t have a detached retina. It was a vitreous detachment. I would not need eye surgery, but it would have to be watched closely to make sure one didn’t develop. I just thought the dream I had of the woman on the hillside was definitely a response to my real-world health problem.

I don’t believe that the woman was anyone I know or knew in the real world. I believe I’ve mentioned before my many dreams of women. They all seem to be different people, never a repeat. But they all have an integrity that is unquestioned. They seem special to me. I think it’s interesting that I always – at least according to the dream – ended up going to see that woman when I was having a tough time, unconsciously going to her. I’m just wondering, if she isn’t my anima, or perhaps, and if they aren’t all my anima. They don’t seem to have an elevated stature in the world, just someone special to me, someone I apparently care about more than I consciously realize. It’s just really nice to have a dream like this now and then.

It would be easy, perhaps too easy, to relate the woman in my dream to the VA nurse I talked to on the phone. Yet the dream certainly has that aspect. Every time I get sick, I turn to a nurse. If we say that’s true for a moment, then could this woman of my dreams be Hygieia, the daughter and consort of Asklepios, the personification of health? I’ve always thought of her as is the archetypal nurse.

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