5 Jul Some Thoughts and A Voice in the Darkness

Before the Active Imagination session, a few thoughts:

Back in 1969 while I was working on my master’s in astronautical engineering, I  had an experience that I hope to never repeat. I’d just finished my bachelor’s at Arizona State the year before and jumped into my masters the next year at Stanford University, planning to get it within one year. My wife had just had our second child, and was having a tough time as a stay-at-home mom. I was struggling in my studies. Then one evening, she went on to bed, and I stayed up to cram for a test. I had a cup of coffee, sat down at my desk and wentt ot work. After an hour or so of deep concentration, I felt my mind do something weird. It seemed to take off on its own. I was actually experiencing thoughts that didn’t come from me. This scared me so bad that I immeiediately closed my book and went to bed. I had sensed something from the other side of consciousness and wasn’t wanting any more. I purposely built a bridge, a wall between me and the unconscious. This is now the wall I’m trrying to penetrate with Active Imagination. I can sense, now, that wall, and I have considerable reluctance to open the Iris and let anything from that world through. That way leads to madness. I know that for a fact. I’ve experienced it. It’s not just runaway thoughts contained in there, but also runaway feelings.

When I am writing and really in the grove groove, I get both a scared feeling, and also a a loss of confidence. I’ve learned that, for me at lest, it comes with the territory. When I’m writing well, I’m either in love with my writing or think it is all crap, and that I’m wasting my time. More than wasting my time. That I’m a fool, and all of this is is not just nonsense but humiliating garbage. Most writers experience this. It goes so deep as to updermine your selfconfidence. It’s as if I view myself as some subspieces of humanity. Just around the corner la lying in wait is loss of co mind control and insanity. Panic attacks. The scariest part is that there is no place to run. When you lose the integrity of your own thoughts, you have no place to run. You can’t run from your own mind.

I’ve been writing a lot on Tales of the Mythic World this past week. I know that I’m using a lot of my Collective Unconscious. Doing that in connection with Active Imagination is beginning to scare me. I’m not particularly fond of my current mental state. This is the context within which I’m currently working. Just so you know.

The Active Imagination session:

Let’s talk about this and try to see what’s going on.

A voice: Yes, I am here.

Me: Who are you?

I’m not sure I can tell you that.

Are you not suposed to be here?

I’m here to see if once you get it started, you can shut it off.

Why don’t you show me a little and then we can see if I should be doing this.

What is it you want to see?

Perhaps something for my Tales of the mythic World. I’m writing about forbidden knowledge. I’m writing about Enoch and the contamination of humanity by the Fallen Angels, the Watchers.

Are you still here?

Yes. Wait just a minute.

Do you have a question?

Yes. Did Philalethes, Starkey, create Philalethes, or was Philalethes real but from the spiritual world.

You already figured that out before you asked.

True. Can you tell me what I should be looking for in Sir Isaac Newton’s alchemical work that is important to my story. Did he find smething of value that we don’t currently recognize?

He developed a method for extending life. One that will work, but you musn’t go beyond this. His thought world is dep deep and complex. You could get lost there. Besides, you could stumble across things that should not be revealed, not as yet. Newton was pushing the limits of of what is even forbidden about forbidden knowledge. Don’t go there. Be content with your share.

I’m working in with the yin-yang aspect of f equals m a mxa.

You will find what is permissable to know there. don’t go beyond that. Im i In particular, don’t go into Newton’s prophecy of the future. Then you should be okay.

Thank you for this. I can see now that I can’t reveal that part of this conversation.

Don’t worry about it. It’s you who could go there. No one is going to stumble across what you could because no one is  it’s not availbele to them. That are not a danger. You are.

Thank you for this help.

This is a matter of trust.

Can I go farther with AI?

Yes. Your’re not proficient enough to cause yourself any real problems.

Who are you?

The Guardian of the Gate.

I thought that was supposed to be a woman.

She’s here. She brought me to you.

End of the Active Imagination session.

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